Basen for hele herligheten var et smalt forstadshus, som hentet fra Harry Potter. Der bodde han lyse, ariske som var sammen hun lille, vakre, mørke. Så hadde vi han pene, furtne;) Ja, og hun høye, smale, omgjengelige og til sist den blonde bomba! Vi sang nasjonalsangen, vi snakket om olje, vi diskuterte hvor mange ord som burde vært lovlig i en enkelt setning. Vi drakk vin. Vi var de norske, så gruppen var nok todelt...Begge fikk nok sett litt av hvert av reality, med andre ord. Det hele resulterte merkelig nok i å søke etter seriøse fakta om Norge på nettet. Jeg vil nå gi dere et utdrag av hva den ariske og den furtne fikk frem. Ønsker alle god grilling av både pølser og lår.
FAKTA OM NORGE...på engelsk.
Norway's real name is Noreg. However, when Russia became allies with aliens, they seized Noreg and changed the name to Norway because they found that easier to say while bashing Capitalism. Silly Russians, Trix are for kids!
"Noreg" is the true and original spelling of "Norge". Unfortunately, only about 20% of the Norwegian population have the brains to understand this.
Capital: Oslo. Name originates from the Russian word "Осло", or "City of Donkeys" / "Eselbyen".
Official Currency: Record albums from DDE and Sputnik (both black metal bands). 1 DDE equals 100 Sputnik. 1 Sputnik equals about £15, or the price of a cup of coffee.
Common currency: Most trades are done with sheep, whales, lutefisk, smalahåve or Viking helmets with horns.
Economy: "Pretty darn well, like a well oiled machine". The government is one of the wealthiest in the world thanks to astronomical taxes (115% Federal Tax, 60% Anything Tax). Norwegians monthly salaries are equivalent to Bill Gates' fortune, but because of the tax, which is 99%, and that everything costs several times more than any other country, the average Norwegian has less money to spend than an asian child labourer or a chilean citizen. The Norwegians are not really filthy rich, as money laundering is so popular that the money cannot be anything but clean. Besides, it is popular to help friends and aquaintances with odd things, so that directors of water cleaning facilities can get cheap bargains on farms in Africa.
Government: An unique combination termed a Federated Satanistic Socialist Monarch Empire.
Prime Minister: Jens Stoltenberg, after violently deposing Kjell Magne Bondevik in a bloody coup with a baseball bat. However, the Norwegian people are in reality ruled by Jonas Gahr Støre due to the fact that he is the only Norwegian to appear on CNN's History of the Known Universe.
National Food: "Grandiosa", a brand circular cardboard smeared with reindeer testicle paste, disguised to look like pizza, and "Lutefisk". otherwise the Norwegians only eat fish (in whatever peculiar form it even may be).
National Drink: Potato moonshine Karsk Mead (Mjød) on the rocks (rocks may be substituted with stones). and fish...
National Song: "Ut mot havet" by Rune Rudberg
National Cheese: Brown cheese, a sweet mixture of goat cheese and curds. Fishcheese...
National Bird: Scandinavian Black-bellied Dipper (Cinclus cinclus), locally known as Fossekallen. Even though Norway have the White-tailed eagle, which makes the Bold Eagle look like a dwarf colibri, Kjell Magne Bondevik, after a big dispute with George W. Bush and his ego, decided that we needed a smaller bird not to embarrass USA. Since Norway don't have any colibris, they took the most unknown bird they could dig up, and because, after its death they sold the Norwegian Blue to Monty Python so they could complete the "Dead Parrot" sketch.
National Sport: Skiskyting (Norwegian Drive By Shooting). This sport is commonly used all over Norway, because it's very simple. You just take a rifle and then you begin to shoot other strangers. Killing is not illegal, but you score less points doing that. Making the person disabled is the best you can do in this sport. Therefore it's many disabled people in Norway.
.....
Dette var en smakebit...Det kan sies at da jeg skulle dra hjem vurderte jeg å låse meg inne på doet på Starbucks med vilje oog at når jeg kom til Taxfreen på Rygge fortsatte jeg å snakke britisk. Jeg har i dag abstinenser i form av hat mot potteplanter og norsk melk. Ble også litt agressiv av nynorske bokstaver for et lite øyeblikk siden.
